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Extra Small

from Phantom Limb by Mary Claire

/

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Each CD comes with a sticker designed by Maggi Stauffer!
    Cover designed by Jessica Hayworth
    Interior collage designed by Tanja Mölholm

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  • T-Shirt/Apparel + Digital Album

    Small batch of tees handprinted by me on my freshly cleaned kitchen floor just fo you!
    Design by Maggi Stauffer
    Modeling By Avery Ducey, Gabby Fitz, Shelby Leone, Francis Rowland

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lyrics

I live for the days when i know I won't be seeing you.
I'm sorry, outgrowing the people I love wasn't even
something I knew I could do.
But when was the last time I was allowed to express
my anger exactly as i felt it?
Can something that was once comfortable be claustrophobic?
I'm smart enough to know when something doesn't fit.

I love you like I’d love a leech
you're an obligatory kind of warm.
So growing fond of you just because you’re filling up on my blood seems like a harmfully self-indulgent art form.
My dad said this state is burning up
and I feel as if I'm going too.
But my moving and shaking
isn't an invitation to do exactly what I do

State fair first prize goldfish only know how to grow
relative to the size of the tank they're in
and if I'm being honest with myself
I don't like the feeling of plexiglass on my fins.
I think I sold myself a little short here
I wanna wear inspired like an evening dress
I feel so bored I feel so so slow
This is not what i call progress.

It’s my birthday so I'll tell you what I want
I even told you I would act surprised.
But opening up a box is weird when I see
that you see me as the wrong size.
The more I think about someones face
the less i can remember it,
I should think of you people all the time.
I’ll make something pretty you can be proud of
I’ll repeat the hurt till its digestible
I'll even make it rhyme.

Is this an extra small?
It's an inch above my ankles now.
I'd better get something that fits to help keep the cold out.
Is this an extra small?
I swear to god this fit me yesterday
but something happened and I don't even want to try it on today.
I'm getting bigger and I don't think i can be
this little this quiet
this extra small anymore
I think it's time I made some room
for myself now.

credits

from Phantom Limb, released October 1, 2018

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Mary Claire San Francisco, California

major lover of most things

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